I like saving things (whether it’s money, fuel or sentimental greeting cards – I especially get a kick out of the last one!). That’s why I thought I’d show you this amazing photographic evidence that yes, Virginia, it is possible to get 120 mpg in our hybrid car:
Except for one tiny detail: you notice that the car’s not moving? I took this picture at a stop light after coming down a hill. Ha! Of course you can get 120 mpg when you’ve only moved 0.4 miles down a vertical slope.
Same way, I think, with life. We all tend to take snapshots of ourselves at our best times and share them with others. It’s the times when we’re not at our best that slow our “overall fuel mileage” and make the picture more realistic.
I still feel quite young in our multicultural marriage, so I can’t give you the benefit of years of wisdom regarding this. But in the few years we have had together, I’ve learned the following lessons:
- Be authentic. People don’t expect you to have the perfect marriage any more than they expect you to be the perfect person. It’s fine to share the struggles you’ve overcome as a couple (provided, of course, that your spouse is also comfortable with sharing them). 🙂
- Don’t take anything for granted. You must have married your spouse because, at least at one time or another, you liked him or her, right?! I loved how a coworker once said, “I have to keep reminding myself how much I enjoy my job.” Same with marriage!
- Take advice from others. We have a wealth of wisdom in relatives or friends who have been married 20+ years. Try to find people who have been married a long time, and ask them how they accomplished it. People always love being asked for advice, I’ve noticed. 🙂
- Keep on keeping on. During our first months of marriage, I felt like two mighty rivers had smacked up against each other, froth and foam flying in all directions. We adjusted to different schedules, routines, lifestyles, families and philosophies. Now, at least more so than before, we’re flowing to the same current. If you don’t go through the hard times, you’ll never get to the better ones.
What’s some lessons you’ve learned regarding multicultural marriage? I’d love to hear from others who have been married longer than I have. Feel free to add to the list!